“Continuum: Many Paths, One Voice” Magazine
by Dr. Richard Jordan
I invite you to breathe. Right now as you read these words, take a deep breath. These words are an invitation to surrender. Surrender your mind’s efforts to ‘figure it out,’ surrender all that conceals your true loving self. Let these words flow into your heart and know that as you are reading you are safe. And again breathe deeply and fully at your natural pace.
As you are breathing, notice your body. What is present right now? Just allow that to be, as it is. You are fully present.
We are all connected. We come into this world connected to the Source. As we leave this world the veil is lifted and the Source is again revealed. Our time between birth and death is an invitation to see through the veil, lift the veil, to remember…to remember why you are here, to wonder why you have come.
Everything in nature has a natural rhythm and flow, just like your breath right now, flowing in and out of your body. This innate natural rhythm is present in the waves on the shore, flowing in, caressing, and flowing out to rejoin the vastness. It is present in the quantum vibrations of the invisible energies. It is present in the grand procession of Earth’s seasons, coming out in the Spring and Summer to connect and create, going in to rest and regenerate in the Fall and Winter.
This innate natural rhythm is present whenever two people come together in intimate relationship. This is the Divine Dance. You know you are in it because things flow, you are spontaneous, without fear, and probably having lots of fun.
The Path of Fear
The Divine Dance is not hard work, it is to be surrendered into. But the path leading there may be rocky, up and down, with twists and turns, and lots of bad weather. My path has certainly been so. My path was constructed by my fears. So as I relate to my beloved, my conflict is between my longing for loving connection and my fears. My fears may ‘run the show’ because I am not fully aware of them. Once I become aware of them, my mind becomes my ally and I can make more loving choices. Awareness is the healing tool.
Your path is unique. Right now, as you breathe, bring your awareness to your own way of being in relationship and see if you notice any parts of yourself that whisper (or scream), “I’m afraid…” I wonder what it would be like to bring those afraid parts up from the basement and invite them into the living room for a cup of tea.
As we become more aware of our fears we can choose. In any moment we can choose loving. We ask, “What is the most loving way I can be in this moment…with myself and with my beloved?” We breathe and answer with our actions…loving in action…. We breathe and answer with our words…loving expression. We breathe in and receive loving inspiration from our partner. We breathe out and express loving in return.
As we become aware of our fears, what is the quality of that awareness? Is it accompanied by acceptance and compassion for the afraid parts – the demons – or is something else present, like shame or judgment? Judgment has energy that keeps us attached to our demons, perpetuating them. We become stuck like glue to the very thing we want to ‘get rid of.’ Our judgment is the glue. Now the healing tool is forgiveness. As we forgive ourselves for judging those ‘ugly’ parts, we free ourselves to move on. All events have led to this opportunity to grow and evolve, and this ‘demon’ is the teacher.
This is the inner work that frees us to surrender to the natural rhythm of the Divine Dance. One of my teachers says, “Your outer experience is a mirror of your inner reality.” So, as we shift our inner reality, our outer experience of relationship also shifts. If we simply attempt to change the outer, we are likely to get one relationship after another that starts to look like variations on a theme.
Passion
Passion is natural and takes us in its grasp at times. But it is not likely in your best interest to wish for a passionate relationship. Passion covers a lot of territory. Yes, there is sometimes passion in the ecstasy of loving, but there is also passion in a temper tantrum, and there is passion in agony and dying. The Latin root of passion is suffering. Someone who actually got their wish of an always-passionate relationship would quickly realize their mistake. Passion quickens the breath. It is not a peaceful state. Even if we got lots of all “good” passion, we would grow tired. Even a sunflower can be scorched by the sun.
So, I invite you to breathe and wonder about your relationship with passion. “What quality of passion do I welcome?” “How am I to be with the difficult passions?” In the natural rhythm of the Divine Dance, passion’s many faces will appear. Rather than wishing for passion, I believe a higher goal is to do the dance with grace and ease, welcoming and enjoying the ecstatic passions of loving, and accepting the sometimes unavoidable suffering faces of passion.
Happiness
One way to guarantee unhappiness is to wish for happiness all the time. The Divine source of loving and joy is infinite. So, why can’t we just hang out there all the time? Well, we can. One of my teachers calls this ‘spiritual bypass.’ For some reason we are here walking this planet, being presented with all sorts of experiences that do not exactly water the seeds of happiness. If we resist them in our quest for happiness, they don’t go away. They are looming, even growing, waiting for our return from our blissful meditative state.
So, the way it seems to work is that we get happiness as a by-product. As we show up for our life experiences in a real and authentic way, deeply honor and speak our truth, take responsibility for our own lessons and opportunities, we seem to get life with more grace and ease. We get to be happy more of the time rather than cleaning up messes. We have energy to create, and our creativity itself is a powerful spiritual practice for us walking-the-planet humans. The path to the Divine source of loving and joy becomes wide and clear.
Our Natural State
Loving is our natural state. And there is a natural rhythm of coming together and moving apart, two people with full loving cups, sharing the overflow. This is the Divine Dance.
Many people take substances or plant medicines to assist in opening themselves to deeper experiences of loving. They call these ‘altered states.’ I suggest that the experience of loving they seek is actually our natural state, and all other ways of being that we have learned as a result of the ‘slings and arrows’ of life are the altered states. Some feel that their fear is so deep that it feels like a bottomless well. They become so afraid of their fear that they can’t ‘go there’ and it stays in the basement, growing darker and uglier. The real truth is that this is an illusion. The real truth is that there is an infinite wellspring, not of fear, but of loving, and it is ever here, awaiting our buckets. How big is your bucket? Make it big enough to pour over you, then your beloved, then move on to other lucky ones who are ready to receive. Could it be that this is why you are here? This is why you have come.
Schedule a personal counseling session
To arrange for counseling, workshops, or speaking engagements, you may contact Dr. Jordan in his San Diego office at: drjordan@cox.net or by phone 619-349-3281.